Saturday, July 5, 2014

REVIEW - UNTIL YOU (Fall Away 1.5) by Penelope Douglas:

TITLE: Until You
SERIES: Fall Away
AUTHOR: Penelope Douglas
GENRE: Contemporary Romance
RELEASE DATE: February 18, 2014
PUBLISHER: Penguin Group
PAGES: Approx. 406

RATING: 5 Stars!

***This novel contains graphic sexual content and harsh language. It is only appropriate for adult readers age 18+. 

Have you ever been so angry that hitting things felt good? Or so numb that you actually felt high? The past few years have been like that for me. Traveling between fury and indifference with no stops in between.

Some people hate me for it, while others are scared of me. But none of them can hurt me, because I don't care about anything or anyone.

Except Tatum.

I love her so much that I hate her. We used to be friends, but I found out that I couldn't trust her or anyone else.

So I hurt her. I pushed her away.

But I still need her. The sight of her centers me, and I can pool all of my anger into her. Engaging her, challenging her, bullying her...they are my food, my air, and the last part of me that feels anything human.

But she left. She went to France for a year, and came back a different girl.

Now, when I push, she pushes back.

5 Lasting, My-Heart-Will-Never-Be-the-Same Stars!
Yesterday Lasts Forever. Tomorrow Comes Never. Until You.

The Review: 
I just finished Until You and I already want to do a re-read! I LOVED this book!

Where I might have been on the fence with these characters in book one, I am in awe at how I’ve done a complete turn around. I wanted more from the story. I got it. I wanted more from Jared’s side. I got it. I wanted to see Jared come to terms with what he’d done and the consequences of his actions. I got it. I wanted to know just what KC was thinking, turning on her best friend. I got it. I wanted more emotion. I got that in spades! I wanted more angst. Done! I wanted more sexy. Whoa, did I get it! I wanted a better HEA. I got that too! This book is definitely one of the BEST “his” POV’s I’ve ever read! 

Did I like this book? Nope. I effing LOVED it!

If you read the first book, Bully, you know that Tate and Jared have a tumultuous relationship and that Jared took great pleasure in hurting Tate. He did things that confused her, humiliated her, turned people against her and made her distrust people in general, especially him. He took her confidence away and made her question what she thought to be true. 

I had concluded, from reading the first book, that Jared was just too immature to handle the horrifying events and the debilitating emotions he suffered after his time away that summer. And he was acting out in the only way he knew how and could handle. But in this book, I realized he truly THOUGHT he hated Tate. They say there’s a fine line between love and hate and when you’re emotions are involved, sometimes is hard to distinguish one from the other. This was very much the case with Jared. That summer away with his father really messed him up and put his mind in a place so dark, he just couldn’t escape. As he tried to get control of all the rage and hurt inside of him, he ended up twisting and warping every emotion into a negative. Instead of relying on his family and friends, he pushed them all away and declared them enemies who didn’t really love him. He thought they didn’t want him and after the mind games his father played on him, I came to understand just how much pain he was in and the only way to handle life was to shut himself down completely. He was too young and too hurt to deal with what had happened to him, so he lashed out at the one person he knew he could hurt, to take back his control. Unfortunately, he was drowning in an abyss so deep, he couldn’t see through to the other side to what his actions were causing. 

There is a much brighter light shined on Jared in this book and whereas I was on the fence before, really not liking his character, I fell in love with him in this book. I still hate what he did to Tate. I still hate how he chose to deal with his emotions. But I love that he FINALLY put himself out there to prove he wasn’t the waste of space his father claimed him to be and to prove to Tate he was ALL. IN! 

We see his feelings, his rationalizations, his purpose and ultimately, even though he was creating all this conflict in Tate’s life, he loved her, wanting to protect her and selfishly keep her in his life the only way he could handle. He didn’t think he deserved love. He didn’t think he deserved good but he couldn’t let her go... so he kept her in his orbit by hurting her. Watching her cry let him see that she still cared enough to elicit a reaction. As warped and messed up as it was, it was all he could handle. His mind was in a bad place and he was silently screaming for help but because his walls were so thick, his mind so shattered, he couldn’t let anyone close enough to see what really happened, what he really felt and a true connection was out of the question.

I hurt for Jared so much in this book. I hurt for Tate in this book. It was a messed up situation all around. 

We even see Madoc in a new light as he takes liberties to bring about Jared’s protective side when it comes to Tate, even at the expense of Tate. I no longer saw him as the obnoxious bully he was in the first book, but rather the true friend he was to Jared. The same goes for KC. I wondered, in the first book, how a best friend could do and say the things she was doing to Tate, but getting Jared’s POV proved what was really going on behind the scenes and showed us that it wasn’t as clear cut as Tate thought it was.

And I can’t conclude this review without talking about the amped up “sexy” in this book. Wowza! That Jared is smokin’ hot and I feel dirty for saying it because he’s way too young for me to be having these cougar feelings! lol! In my mind, he was in his mid twenties! Yeah, I’ll keep telling myself that. Maybe it’ll stick. :)

The Wrap Up: 
The writing was brilliant, the original story was told with a fresh look but there were also many extra scenes as we see everything from the time Tate and Jared met, until the wonderful and beautiful ending of this book. The best part is, their story will continue as it's highlighted in the background of the other characters stories. I want to see where they go from here because with all the conflict they’ve endured, I’d love to see a true trusting, loving, passionate relationship with a sure future. 

Quotes Spotlights. Just A Few of My Favorite Quotes...
She was everything. She knew my game, she matched me, and she was going to be a joy to take down. Then, and only then, would I have proven that I didn’t need her or anyone else.

There was no point in lying to myself. As much as I hated her, I wanted a taste of her.

Every time I pushed her, it wasn’t really about making her feel bad. It was about proving to myself that my head and heart weren’t in her control. And if I could rip her from my head and heart, kill everything good I felt about her, then I was strong.

I wanted her to hurt. I didn’t want her to hurt.
I hated her. I loved her.
I wanted to violate her body in a hundred different ways. I wanted to keep her safe.
There was no limit to how fucking confused I was right now...

...I wish I could go back to that day in the park. Back to the fish pond when I’d first decided that she needed to hurt. I would’ve done it differently.
Instead of pushing her away, I would’ve buried my face in her hair and let her bring me back from wherever I’d gone. She wouldn't have had to say or do anything. Just fill my world.
Buy my anger ran deeper than my love for her that day...

I took her mouth, eating up her sweet little whimper. She was fucking mine, and that was it.

I had reached a point where I couldn’t be disappointed anymore. I couldn’t listen to anyone else not want me.
So I shut down. Completely and immediately.
That’s the thing about change.
It can be gradual. Slow and almost unnoticeable.
Or it can be sudden, and you don’t even know how you could’ve been any other way.

The purest, truest, most perfect thing in my world, and I’d dumped pile upon pile of shit on top of her for years.
A knot of realization worked its way into my head, and I felt like punching my fist through a fucking wall.

”You own me body and soul, and everyone is going to know it. Sometimes I’m going to go slow with you, and sometimes I’m going to fuck you. But it will always be love, Tate.”
Always has been. And always will.

”I can’t change the past, Tate. I wish I could, because I’d go back and relive every day that I existed without you, and I’d make sure that you smiled.” My eyes burned with regret, and I saw the pools in her beautiful blues, too. “Every minute of my future belongs to you.”
“I’ll do anything to be good for you, Tate.”
“Anything, baby,” I promised.

Buy the Book!

Bully (Fall Away #1)
Buy the Book!

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